Murphy was an optimist....|
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|Thursday, November 17th, 2011|
|Writer's Block: The happiest movies on earth
What is your favorite Disney movie?
none of them: i hate Disney, Disney movies, and Disney fucking land...not to mention the bullshit it's all based on.
for one thing, how the hell can "Disneyland" be the "happiest place on earth" when there isn't a single bar or liquor store to be found anywhere there you can buy a fing drink?
let alone the fact that, if it *WAS* the happiest place on earth, there would be people circulating through the crowds handing out free booze, so you wouldn't even have to look for a bar, unless you wanted to take a break from the incessant swarm of children. (and who wouldn't?)
that and Disneyland attracts tourists to SoCal, and was thus part and parcel of it being ruined by carpetbaggers.
naw: fuck Disney.
|Thursday, November 11th, 2010|
|Friday, April 30th, 2010|
ILS FURENT ICI MOINS DE SOIXANTE
OPPOSÉS A TOUTE UNE ARMÉE
SA MASSE LES ÉCRASA
LA VIE PLUTOT QUE LE COURAGE
ABANDONNA CES SOLDATS FRANÇAIS
LE 30 AVRIL 1863
A LEUR MEMOIRE LA PATRIE ELEVA CE MONUMENT*
|Thursday, January 28th, 2010|
|Writer's Block: Obama drama
How do you think President Obama is doing so far? If you're an American citizen, would you vote the same way (whether for or against)? If you're not, what's your take on Obama's performance? Did his State of the Union address sway your opinion in any way?
Ear Leader is an utter and complete failure, unless the real goal of getting into office was to cripple and damage this country as much as possible during his term.
to all of you that were dumb enough to vote for the First Incompetent, i have only this to say: "I TOLD YOU SO!"
President Barney Fife has failed miserably in his primary duty in defending us against foreign enemies, as the recent islamic terrorist attacks in Arkansas and Texas and the near successful attack over Detroit showed. he's kissed the ass of every third world tin horn dictator he could find, and insulted our allies every chance he could.
his speech was epic in it's mediocrity, even for him. all it did was further prove, not that there was any doubt, that he is unfit for any office and any responsibility anywhere, regardless of how inconsequential that duty might actually be. if breathing wasn't autonomic, he'd like as not suffocate while he was trying to decide if he should inhale.
the one thing he *could* do that i'd actually agree with would be to order, ala Truman, the integration of gays into the military services, but he's too much of a coward to do that. he's gonna wait on Congress, which means it ain't happening. what a pussy.
in short, fuck him and the horseshit he rode in on.
(hey, you asked.... %-)
|Monday, November 9th, 2009|
|Tuesday, October 27th, 2009|
|Good Ol' George sure was a dummy....
If George W. Bush had been the first President to need a teleprompter
installed to be able to get through a press conference, would you have
laughed and said this is more proof of how he inept he is on his own
and is really controlled by smarter men behind the scenes?
If George W. Bush had spent hundreds of thousands of dollars to take
Laura Bush to a play in NYC, would you have approved?
If George W. Bush had reduced your retirement plan's holdings of GM
stock by 90% and given the unions a majority stake in GM, would you
If George W. Bush had made a joke at the expense of the Special
Olympics, would you have approved?
If George W. Bush had given Gordon Brown a set of inexpensive and
incorrectly formatted DVDs, when Gordon Brown had given him a
thoughtful and historically significant gift, would you have
If George W. Bush had given the Queen of England an iPod containing
videos of his speeches, would you have thought this embarrassingly
narcissistic and tacky?
If George W. Bush had bowed to the King of Saudi Arabia , would you
If George W. Bush had visited Austria and made reference to the
non-existent "Austrian language," would you have brushed it off as a
If George W. Bush had filled his cabinet and circle of advisers with
people who cannot seem to keep current in their income taxes, would
you have approved?
If George W. Bush had been so Spanish illiterate as to refer to
"Cinco de Cuatro" in front of the Mexican ambassador when it was the
5th of May (Cinco de Mayo), and continued to flub it when he tried
again, would you have winced in embarrassment?
If George W. Bush had mis-spelled the word "advice" would you have
hammered him for it for years like Dan Quayle and potatoe as proof of
what a dunce he is?
If George W. Bush had burned 9,000 gallons of jet fuel to go plant a
single tree on Earth Day, would you have concluded he's a hypocrite?
If George W. Bush's administration had okayed Air Force One flying
low over millions of people followed by a jet fighter in downtown
Manhattan causing widespread panic, would you have wondered whether
they actually get what happened on 9-11?
If George W. Bush had failed to send relief aid to flood victims
throughout the Midwest with more people killed or made homeless than
in New Orleans , would you want it made into a major ongoing
political issue with claims of racism and incompetence?
If George W. Bush had ordered the firing of the CEO of a major
corporation, even though he had no constitutional authority to do so,
would you have approved?
If George W Bush had proposed to double the national debt, which had
taken more than two centuries to accumulate, in one year, would you
If George W. Bush had then proposed to double the debt again within 10
years, would you have approved?
So, tell me again, what is it about Obama that makes him so brilliant
and impressive? Can't think of anything? Don't worry. He's done all
this in 5 months -- so you'll have three years and seven months to
come up with an answer. Current Mood: cynical
|Friday, September 4th, 2009|
|"do not, repeat not, cross words with redc1c4, you can never win."
telling advice from Usenet, which the miserable fucks, neighborhood busy bodies and would be local political scum should have well heeded.
instead, they rammed through their vision for a piece of city property in my AO, AND had the fucking gall to propose a local tax district to pay for the rest of the shit they decided we should have. people tried to talk to them, but they didn't listen. in fact they actually threatened me for even trying to be involved with the project, and then tried to slander me behind my back when that didn't w*rk. they even forced an old friend to carry a veiled threat of litigation to me. i told her to pass back "so shut up and sue me."
well, fuck all you assholes and how does it feel to be my personal bitch? i fucking pwned all of you oh so "connected" movers and shakers. i wrote fliers in my inimitable style, and walked them to every house in the area, time and time again. i stirred up a quiet neighborhood in the best rabble-rouser style and it paid off this week.
the city conducted a straw poll to see if they should spend the money on a formal election about creating the assessment district, sending out ~550 ballots to area property owners.
the final tally has just been released:
total votes: 318
Hell No: 251
so here's a final hearty "fuck you you fucking fucks" to all y'all, and now it's my turn. you should have stayed in your own turf and not bothered the bull but no, you wanted to play games.
well now you get to play "how far in will the horn go"? hope you enjoy it as much as i do. Current Mood: predatory
|Tuesday, June 16th, 2009|
|no one reads my blog, but i'll do my bit anyway
reposted from my pet jawa:
The purpose of this guide is to help you participate constructively in the Iranian election protests through Twitter.
1. Do NOT publicise proxy IP's over twitter, and especially not using the #iranelection hashtag. Security forces are monitoring this hashtag, and the moment they identify a proxy IP they will block it in Iran. If you are creating new proxies for the Iranian bloggers, DM them to @stopAhmadi or @iran09 and they will distributed them discretely to bloggers in Iran.
2. Hashtags, the only two legitimate hashtags being used by bloggers in Iran are #iranelection and #gr88, other hashtag ideas run the risk of diluting the conversation.
3. Keep you bull$hit filter up! Security forces are now setting up twitter accounts to spread disinformation by posing as Iranian protesters. Please don't retweet impetuosly, try to confirm information with reliable sources before retweeting. The legitimate sources are not hard to find and follow.
4. Help cover the bloggers: change your twitter settings so that your location is TEHRAN and your time zone is GMT +3.30. Security forces are hunting for bloggers using location and timezone searches. If we all become 'Iranians' it becomes much harder to find them.
5. Don't blow their cover! If you discover a genuine source, please don't publicise their name or location on a website. These bloggers are in REAL danger. Spread the word discretely through your own networks but don't signpost them to the security forces. People are dying there, for real, please keep that in mind... Current Mood: sympathetic
pass it on.
|Tuesday, May 12th, 2009|
|on a good day, i'm a curmudgeon.
and i don't have too many good days.
those of you that know me personally will vouch for this in general. i have a few friends i give a damn about, but in general, my opinion of mankind is shaped by my interactions with them. needless to say, i'm a firm believer in birth control, regular or retroactive, hence the title of this "pathetic blog".
today, i got some really
good personal news that had me almost upbeat for about 5 whole hours, until i opened some email from the local busy body. now i'm contemplating restraining orders, lawsuits, press releases and waiting for certain local offices to open in the morning. no late night for me tonight.
and, instead of spending my big 5-0 in a haze of beer and tri-tip, i'm gonna be ass deep in assholes and local politics.
thanks ever so much, you fucking fucks. when you're screaming "why?", know that you could have played "nice", but instead you wanted to play "assholes".
well, i'm an asshole's asshole when i want to be, and i have fuck all to lose over this issue, unlike you. we're gonna see just how much you like having sunlight being shown in on your little schemes.
see you in hell, scumbags: it's home field to me. Current Mood: enraged
|Friday, May 1st, 2009|
|First of May, First of May.....
Outdoor fucking begins today!
sorry, but i couldn't resist. %-)
Happy Birthday to my brother, who i don't think LJ's, but at least the thought is there, right?
|Sunday, March 8th, 2009|
|The Army and Life
Current Mood: cranky
(Back Story: I am enrolled in an English Composition class because they want to make sure I can write. The assigned reading is a concentrated pile of whale dreck entitled "Nickel and Dimed in America", an execrable piece of turgid prose from a pedantic, condescending upper middle class twit. I was to write on something brought to mind by my “active reading” of this schisse, but I wasn’t to mention the text itself. Think I made my point? %-)
If Soldiers make it through Basic and AIT, and into their first unit, they will have undergone a transformative process that they likely won’t even recognize until they return to the scene of their previous civilian life, either on leave, or, if they are a Reservist, when they are released to their parent unit. While one is in training, or assigned to a unit, the world inhabited is only tangentially related to the existence that was once labeled “normal”. When a Soldier goes home, things that bother friends and family will amuse them, or, sometimes, irritate with the pettiness involved. After all, it’s hard to get excited that they’ve run out of someone’s favorite soup of the day when the daily diet has been nothing but MRE’s and sometimes not even that, because the supply truck broke down, or got lost, or orders came to move before they could get to that far. People complaining that they couldn’t possibly drink tap water because “it’s so nasty” really irritate people who have picked pieces of ice up off the ground for moisture, or refilled their canteens with swamp water and hoped the purification tablets really do work.
If a Soldier is one of those who spend a good portion of their career in the field, especially in a Cavalry, Infantry, Armor or Artillery unit, they quickly develop new standards for cleanliness; sleep requirements, and life priorities. 18 days without a shower in 120* weather is uncomfortable, but when the choice is between getting enough sleep to function safely when the next tasking starts in 5 hours, or spending 2 or more of those precious hours on getting to the shower and back, one racks out in the first reasonable location to be found, bearing in mind, of course, that “reasonable” has precious little to do with soft, warm, dry, or even overly comfortable, and everything to do with security, and a reduced likelihood of getting run over by a moving vehicle, or worse, being woken up early.
Another cleanliness adjustment is dealing with things that need to be cleaned. One hasn’t lived until they have participated in cleaning a shower/latrine facility that is in constant use by thousands of troops. The diet of a field soldier is not conducive to intestinal calm, both from the nature of the rations themselves, and the fact that there’s rarely a sink to wash up with before eating. The end results must be experienced to be believed, as should the joy of being on the team that transports portable toilets from the field sites back to the dump point and then cleans them out for reuse. KP, which is always a fun filled adventure, includes, among other things, cleaning all the pots, pans, and other cooking utensils needed for preparing the meals as well as the trays and silverware the Soldiers eat with. However, it rises to new levels of sensory pleasure when said cleaning is done using only water filled trashcans warmed with immersion heaters and scrub brushes, while standing on wood pallets in a dirt field in whatever the weather is that day (or night). Still, it has to be done, and everyone gets a turn at doing it. That is why we have duty rosters, to share the wealth evenly.
The primary purpose of the US Army is to kill people and break things in pursuit of national objectives delineated by the civilian leadership. We are the best in the world at this, and over the years the organization has honed the skills, values and methods that make this possible. One of the first things inculcated into a recruit’s mind is that what matters is the mission. This ethos is expressed most succinctly in the motto, “Mission First, People Always” because, while each Soldier is a valued team member and precious asset, getting the job done comes first. GI’s don’t get to say “I quit” and go home when it gets hard. They embrace the suck and drive on. It has been said that a veteran is someone who, at least once in their life, wrote a check to the USA and it’s citizens, “payable in any amount up to and including my life”. What few outside the services understand is all to often that price may be extracted for the most trivial of reasons, even in peacetime. This is the bond that makes the relationship between all veterans unique, and it is our shared experiences of deprivation and sacrifice that often lead the sheltered amongst the general population to not understand when their delicate sensibilities and overly wrought “concerns” are met with our outspoken derision and often, utter contempt. We are not the same as them, and having been through the fire, we recognize dross when it is attempting to pass itself off as the pure quill.
|Tuesday, February 24th, 2009|
|AND THE CROWD GOES WILD!!!!
well, maybe not, but i'm doing a one man Mardi Gras dance around the house and yard today:
i just got a call from CA OTAG, Retirement Division: i am now a proud member of the US Army Retired Reserve, and officially an old fart.
yup: my records are finally unfucked. for those of you who haven't been playing along, i spent 20 unusual years serving in the Army, mostly in the Guard here in the PRC (with a few years in the USAR)and was unceremoniously booted out a few years back, allegedly just shy of retirement eligibility.
i reached out to friends in low places, and secured copies of the records that they used to calculate things. comparing them to the OTAG paperw*rk showed an apparent error, which i finally got off my ass and wrote a letter about last week, addressed to the state CSM.
as CSM's are legendary for doing, when they want to, he got things done. it went in the mail last tuesday, and now, a week later, it's a done deal. i would have loved to have been there when it all went down. the look on his face alone when he read it would have been worth doing an AT for free.... well, almost worth that. AT's generally suck bowling balls through IV tubing tied up in knots and heat sealed at both ends, but still, his reaction was undoubtedly priceless, especially after they got my file out and looked at it. he too was likely wondering how an E-4 made it to 20 years, since that's impossible, according to regs........ %-)
of course, it didn't hurt that i am the letter writing son of a bitch from hell either.
and now, back to my beer drinking happy dance, already in progress.
after all, i'm retired: it's *always* 5 o'clock! Current Mood: indescribable
|Saturday, November 29th, 2008|
|Saturday, November 22nd, 2008|
|it's over: we won. get used to the idea.....
i know there's lots of you out there still stuck on "quagmire" or whatever other bullshit you've allowed yourself to be wedded to because of your untreated BDS and/or distorted world view, but the facts are blindingly obvious, no matter how painful that may be to you.
we beat Saddam and his army, and now, despite your best efforts, and theirs, we have beaten the insurgency. Iraq is a free and democratic country. sucks to be you..... it's USA FTW!
and, just to thoroughly piss you off, we pretty much owe it all to George Bush and the American Armed Forces, as discussed here: http://tinyurl.com/5sh3bj
after all, had we listened to you, Code Pink, Murtha, the MSM,and everyone else that was part of the 5th column, we'd be running away with our tail between our legs again. Juggy will have to find a way to fuck this up all on his own if you still wish to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.
a hat tip to my fellow LGF lizard "Zombie" for the great idea, a thorough overview of why it's time to call it, located at:
http://www.zombietime.com/vi_day/ and for hosting the iconic graphic below.
most of all, both a heartfelt thank you, and the acknowledgment of an un-payable debt of gratitude to all my fellow Soldiers as well as the Marines, Sailors and Airmen & women who have or are serving, and, most of all, to those who have been wounded or killed during OIF/OEF as well as to all the families of Service personnel. i cannot speak for the country, but as far as this household is concerned, you all have the thanks of a grateful nation.
Scouts Out! Current Mood: contemplative
|Wednesday, November 5th, 2008|
|Tuesday, August 12th, 2008|
|the end times are nigh?
that very well could be: as of this afternoon, i am officially a full time college student again, after a hiatus of way too long. i found an online program through a real ass, no kidding, accredited university here in SoCal, and it appears, after all the hemming & hawing, that i will finally have a degree in about 18 months..... appropriately enough, it will be a BS.
i'd comment that the class load might cut back on my poasting here , but that might be hard to do, given how little i do poast to begin with.
since there aren't any online frats, i guess i'll pledge ADB, but since my ISP dropped all the alt newsgroups at the behest of the whore-monger AG from NY, i'll have to find an alternate route to alt.drunken.bastards..... that seems appropriate. %-)
|Monday, May 5th, 2008|
|full bird potty dance
this was previously posted on Usenet many moons ago:
"This is no shit":
it was one of the early days of that magnificent adventure now recorded in the annals of history as "Golden Spike 01", and yours truly was off to the makings of yet another fine army day.
leaving our palatial barracks i evidently was targeted by persons unknown with a wrinkle grenade.....and got caught in a dust barrage trying to avoid the full effects of said insidious device.
surviving the onslaught, i made my way to DISCOM's alleged mess hall, where i was part of yet another Bio-War experiment against helpless soldiers.
using my grab for an MRE as cover, i barely escaped with my life.
pondering my options at such an early hour on Club Bob, ("The antidote to reenlistment" TM,) it was sadly apparent that my only real option was to saddle up in my UAV and do a mounted recon/ road clearing movement to my duty AO... so off in to the sunrise i went.
having made the trip with negative contact, i maneuvered my vehicle up under cover for the day, and dismounted.
now we had this really "nice" old Sargent pulling night duty, mostly to avoid having him have to deal with people or problems........
i walk up to the building and standing out front is our resident SPOT, an e-4 idiot child who's greatest accomplishment of AT was constructing name plates for people's desks out of 100mph tape and WORD documents, smoking a cigarette without a care in the world.
inside was SGT Afewbricksshort, and a ACTIVE full bird........
(right here all my ECM went off, but obviously just a skosh late %-)
said Col was in the midst of a full fledged "potty dance", bouncing up and down the empty building ranting and raving about a mission, a driver, a fast approaching SP time, and a general......(oh joy)
first words addressed to me were "Are you my driver?" Always bright, witty and cheerful at such an early hour, my reply was along the line of: "I haven't been briefed on any mission sir, but i'm sure we can figure
out who is...." (yup, i can sling it starting REAL early)
we went to the mission board, and the initial problem was glaringly apparent. we had it for a 0700 departure, and his nibs wanted to be moving NLT 0630.
feeling suicidal, i allowed as how that if no one assigned showed up in time, i would be happy to drive him...... sure enough, no one came, and off we went, leaving dumb and dumber to relate their version of the
events to the command group as they came in.........
meanwhile i'm sailing down 101 to Paso Robles with said bird, exchanging pleasantries and tid bits of military background. having mentioned that i was Cav, we discussed the Squadron for a bit, with him singing their praises, and me wondering what unit he was talking about.... %-)
he then proceeded to call ahead to the CSM that we were indeed en route, on time and would be ready for his nibs, rather than making him wait, as they had been afraid of.
(evidently this is a very *bad* thing for active types)
(at this point i told the Col that he had witnessed on of the great battles in history, my sense of duty vs. my survival instinct in avoiding Col's, generals, and such.... he seemed amused)
we get to Paso, clean up the van as best we can, (for some reason we had plenty of time) and wait................. then we wait some more. finally, i move the van over to the rooms, load the baggage and we're off to the airport.
there everyone dismounts, i load the baggage into the CSM's pov, and stand around with a thumb up while they brief the days festivities. (i can't leave until the crash hawks get off the ground,in case their
hamsters are tired and they have to move by ground after all)
briefing is finally over, out comes the whole parade, and said General says, "Where's that Specialist that drove us?" wondering what PFC pay for AT was going to be, i said "Here, Sir", saluting.
he simply shook my hand, placing a coin in it, and said, "Let's go!"
out to the birds the went, and off to Hungry Lizard they were in a few, leaving our hero standing there slightly stunned, and in possession of a coin from the Commander, US Fifth Army.
gathering my wits, i stopped in paso for a taste of real food, and proceeded to RTB........ where the story of the morning had evidently been subject to inflation and no little consternation.
"YOU SENT WHO TO PICK UP WHO?".......
i pulled in, and Top was out front maintaining his nicotine level. he thanked me for taking the fall, and asked how it went.... (preparing for damage control, no doubt)
finally awake enough for full smart ass mode i said, "Okay i guess..." and flipped him the coin....... %-)
who NEVER wants to meet another 3 star Current Mood: nostalgic
|Saturday, March 8th, 2008|
|Saturday, February 23rd, 2008|
|i'm the luckiest man alive
and yes, i realize that several LJ friends may debate this.
however, denying the validity of an essential truth doesn't make it any less so.
today is the 7th anniversary of my PCS to Ft DeDe.
best unit i *ever* served with. %-)
|Sunday, February 17th, 2008|
|ever wonder why some folks drink?
years ago, i was told i was a negative person , and that i should just get with the program.....
i told that fool that it wasn't whether the glass was half full or half empty, but that i wanted something entirely different in the glass...... i left before their head exploded...... they never did get it, and they got laid off before i did, and never understood why.
after years of observing the program, i decided that i wasn't cynical, i was just experienced.
after last week, i've decided that one can never be cynical enough.
the swarm is my salvation*....... long live the swarm!
* and scotch. %-)